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  • Writer's pictureDarcy Reed

Start in your heart

This is about the other possibilities that exist in this world for a total loving kindness. That is possibly a choice we can make on purpose. People never think about the fact that loving kindness is an innate quality of our souls. The aspect of cruel indifference is a learned one that can be unlearned even on such a violent planet as this one.

I have heard that loves transcends all evil. The evil dissipates if you direct love at it. So, we are trying here not to be hateful, even when we are thoroughly disgusted by humanity. To try to remember that love can prevail is our constant job and we need to recondition our twisted minds around love instead of hate, around peace instead of war, around many wonderful aspects of a kindhearted community.

Where to start is in our own hearts, not in someone else’s. I’m aware that some people replace the loving kindness with an addiction to anger. The anger itself causes chemicals in the brain that people get addicted to. They love adrenaline and if that’s all that wakes them up anymore, they will simply rage on daily about the same stuff that gives them that sense of achieving some righteous energy. That isn't really just a big buzzkill, but far worse, it is deadly. It will give you serious health problems and depress other people who are working on loving kindness but who might also be angry.

This is the fundamental problem with love dysfunction disease, which is what I call this. The fact that once a person feels belittled or threatened or wounded, that experience can turn into fear, anger, or hatred. Then a person out of self defense decides their fear and anger prevented further harm. So then they become psychologically addicted to fear and anger.

It is not easy to turn around lifelong patterns of anger or violence, but it can be done. I recommend first just looking at your moods and conversations and what sets off your rage. Then examine the effect that has on sensitive people around you. Do they then also get mad or nervous or uncomfortable? That’s important to notice. Next, list what purpose that anger serves. Why do you dwell on it? What is the payoff? Next, re-frame the source of anger. Try to minimize its importance.

Do you really need to be angry to survive stupid, painful things, or do you simply have to remember what to avoid in the future? Anger can teach you lessons if you don’t allow it to metastasize into the rest of your precious life. In the final analysis, the one thing that will help the most is to find one compassionate thought you can wrap your head around about the subject of your anger. If you look deeply, you will find that everyone has a soft, dear heart in them somewhere, and usually they mean to do the right thing, whether it is right or not

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