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  • Writer's pictureDarcy Reed

Solving for forgiveness

Today is the day to speak of universal forgiveness of all that offends. Everybody is offended. I’m also offended that you’re offended and probably you’re offended that I’m offended that you’re offended. Do you call yourself names when you offend yourself? Yes, you do. You call yourself stupid. Sometimes you call yourself a dumb ass or worse. Do you know how bad it is for you to do that? You must stop. You may be offended but you are not a dumb ass. You need to forgive yourself and others for simply acting as if you were dumb asses.

Or perhaps you lie awake at night thinking of the things you did to hurt someone or thinking of the things done by others to hurt you. It is disturbing to every cell in your brain and body to do that -- to hold anger and blame and shame together in your sad hearts, That’s why hearts break. You could live your whole life feeling anger or guilt or both.

It’s time to create an algebraic formula to help you stop that process of pain in your life. Imagine the rules of algebra, the axioms. Create new ones to solve this problem. I would say the first order of operations is to first go to all the variables and multiply them together. When you have done that, divide all those variables by the good things you have done and add the intention to do right to the whole sum. Then multiply again by two hundred times the compassionate energy you felt from your mom when you were a baby and she held you in her arms. Recreate that compassion and then spread that out like a warm light to the final aspects within the formula and the variables will add up to forgiveness.

One must also realize that even when people make serious mistakes in judgement, they actually believed at that point that they were right. That has to factor in as well. It’s true that sometimes the best intentions lead to hell, as they say, but good intentions are something one needs to subtract from the original factors. Being wrong is crappy and acting on wrongness is crappy, but did you think it was right? There is much forgiveness in this one understanding about intentions.

The real existence of blame, shame and guilt can be reduced considerably by subtracting good intentions. It won’t solve the original problem of being hurt or hurting, but it helps stop the pain. I’ll give you a simple example. Imagine your dad spanking you years ago for running out into the street as a toddler. He traumatized and hurt you and perhaps did it other times. Perhaps you don’t forgive that, but when you realize that was what he did with his intentions thinking that spanking would save you from doing that again. As hurtful as it was, it was his intention to help.

Once you have put together this formula for solving the problem of forgiveness, then you may see the many wonderful things about yourself and loved ones that you missed. Imagine your mind and heart free from regret, guilt and anger! The sum total could be your happiness and the happiness of your loved ones, moving ahead without the weight of all those heavy burdens. Go for it.

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