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  • Writer's pictureDarcy Reed

Holiday Advice

This blog is about people who are struggling at the holidays. Many people get so sad at the holidays that I felt I had to write about that. Often, it’s the time that grief for the departed or absent surfaces most painfully. It’s a sensitive time because of its importance to our culture to gather as families and celebrate. Other cultures have festivals or such to celebrate or mark religious days of significance. The main point here is that all cultures celebrate something, and usually families come together to do it in harmony and love.

This year if you have political discussions, it might not end well. If you have addiction or psychological wounds or health problems, it becomes a grieving holiday for accentuated loneliness. I believe one of the best ways to gather in holiday cheer is to establish self-love. All resentments of others spring from lack of self-love. Without self-love, love for others, especially difficult, damaged or brain-washed others is only possible if you have that inner stability to love thyself so strongly that differing opinions or objectionable or hurtful behaviors of others do not wound your inner-loved self.

If you have an inner child who never healed, this is the time to wrap love around your own inner child like a soft blanket to comfort with deep and sacred love. I’m sure that we all had a sense of security at some time in our lives. It is that space to go to when negativity or hurtful actions surround you or emanate from you. It is that space that calms and soothes and centers on the single most important thing – your inner being that propels you through life like a bird in flight escaping all dangers, happy and free.

Focus on that being, and be of good cheer. You can alter your mood, redirecting the chatter in your brain to a simple hug you give your inner child. If your inner child was so damaged you can’t do that, then hopefully others can help you or at least avoid being wounded by you. The inner child who never found that space will keep trying to take yours away. It is a time to hang on to the love, people. Not all of us ever had it in the first place, so as sad as that is, all we can do is try to feed our own love and not turn against the loveless among us.

If instead of self-defense and fear, we approach all differences with the inner love of own selves, it would be that love which rules the day because nothing can wound a securely happy and loved soul. The world could do this all at once and solve so many problems but the overlying fears of wounds past get in the way. This year just let them go.


Image by <a href=";utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=1883840">Myriam Zilles</a> from <a href=";utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=1883840">Pixabay</a>

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